King Carrot & Boobs

valentine’s day

strawberli3 — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 22:23:49 +0000

although we were stuck at school studying on valentine’s day.

i did deliver some baked goodies to my hubby (:

i got 2 hugs that day from him, 2 of the best hugs in a long time now. <3

looking forward to spending some time together tonight.

missing him .

snow snow snowboarding

strawberli3 — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:05:15 +0000

us ~ <3

looking forward to dinner this thursday (:

pro + nub snowboarders ~

Happy Two-Year-versary

strawberli3 — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:13:47 +0000

HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY HUNNI3 ! ~ ~ ~

we made it.

calming.

strawberli3 — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:37:35 +0000

the “talk” today.

how to describe it.

it seems like, we’ve come to such a perfect understanding. the talk was so understanding. no explosions of emotions, just a light-hearted understanding talk. mature? not sure what it is. but it was an “open” talk. like .. before we dated almost. that kind of talk. it is nice to be able to talk about it .. in this type of situation, or setting. but how come we could never before? is it cuz we care less now? or not?

but although it’s so understanding. it seems unreal. it seems like something’s missing. what is it? chemistry? or is it just because we are finally .. finally calm now, cuz we grew? . hm shrug* hard to say .

but of course, the talk doesn’t come to a conclusion. it’s not that easy.

break up? how can we talk about break-up so calmly. no more crying. hEY… no more crying… how weird. usualy, if i think about this, i’ll start crying. am i numb to it now? hm. perhaps. perhaps, we’re just so tired.. so tired to even cry about it.

hm. so do we break up? but of course, i ask too much .. of course i’m asking if we can still be close friends, of course, that’s hard to predict. he’s probably right, that it won’t be the same, that we may not be friends possibly.. it may not work that way. as much as i’d want it to.

that’s probably asking too much.

but right now, it’s .. what do i want… what … i can’t tell how i’m feeling.. like my feelings are just.. there but i can’t read them?

like i can’t read or understand what i’m feeling…

so i’m unsure. i remain unsure. i don’t know what to do. . . .

but calming.

i miss u .

strawberli3 — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 07:35:55 +0000

missing us.

xoxo.

strawberli3 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:53:06 +0000

me: all i’m thinking right now is… i wanna make out with you.

him: LMFAO.

me: =.=

december 19th.

strawberli3 — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 07:32:34 +0000

tis the day when exams are over for the other one.

tis the day we will hopefully be having a little “talk”.

i do not know what to expect.

feeling uneasy. or perhaps. just fearful/worried of the unexpected.

made it home safe

strawberli3 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:57:36 +0000

don’t drive…. when you are teary eye…. because it kinda impairs your vision, and being emotionally me, i kept driving.

my eyes hurt.

baby . i just know. i mean i don’t know. i don’t know where to begin. i don’t know if i should want to .. i mean i want to be there when you’re having a bad time, i wanna be that strong gf that can try and try to cheer you up .. and hopefully make ur day better. even if you are EXHAUSTED. but i guess i am not that angel for you. i’m not that one .. that can make you budge even in the toughest times. maybe i’ll be one day.

i feel so alone. i just want my boyfriend back. i just want him to be happy. but i don’t understand. i have a hard time understanding his problems. so here i am. helpless.

i appreciate you tryin to keep your negative vibes away from me. but to me, that feels like hiding stuff. i don’t like it. i rather just know. because knowing = safety , security for me. and i know i’ts a bad habit.
i’ts the same.. a friend told me. it’s because i want to be in control, i want to know. i want to know how much i matter to you. and that’s .. sometimes, you just can’t know everything. sometimes, it’s just not how your partner works… like you. you don’t tell very often.

so here i am. how do i try and just … not know. just flow. how.
i’m trying. i’m trying very hard.

in the end . i hope your career thing turns out for you, maybe i’m not the best person to be by your side through this chapter of your life, i don’t know, you’ve probably thought about that before. because … career choice ? versus… me ? … i mean , yea i know once i said that med school is long. but i know you really wanna do it, so i mean, go for it. but you also need to remember im’ here as well while you’re studying. i am here still. i still want to matter.

i don’t know how we are together. the oddest forces brought us together. but i need u to know that you want to keep me. cuz if u do, then that’s great. i may not be able to understand all your frustrations and worries with work, and how you want to perfect it. but i will definitely be there to hug you when you fall down and celebrate with you when you jump the obstacles.

forever.

thanks hunny

strawberli3 — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 04:02:53 +0000

just wanted to say thanks hunny for the last few days. the last few days, you have left me with lots of love and happiness. even tho you were so so so tired, u were still there to go out and have fun with me.

thank you thank you thank you :D
i love you

The beginnings are always the sweetest

strawberli3 — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 05:25:37 +0000

At the very beginning, its alway the sweetest. You’re trying to impress one another, plan out your game, falling deeper and deeper.
Yes, it may all seem perfect and you agree to everything in the future together. But as you realize you fallen in too deep to leave, you also realize the truth start to stir. The future is blurry, disagreements, you can’t picture and dream what it’ll be like anymore because you have different goals, styles, timelines. Still, you’ve fallen too deep. Even if it is a little blurry and not picture perfect, that’s ok. You believe it will work out. You’ll still have a job. A family. Kids. Your own place. It’ll work out somehow. But all that aside,
How much of a treasure am I now compared to when we first started? When you lightly said, everything you do is for me, everything is fine as ling as the girl is happy? Or even before we started, I felt like the most luckiest girl on earth, the adventure of being liked, the questions. The way someone treated me like a treasure and wanted to hold on to me. Where has this feeling gone?
Knowing we’re deep into this, does it mean we don’t have to take the time and make the effort to remind each other how we miss one another? Love one another? Want one another?
Does it mean you cannot sense when I try to be there? Or sense when I’m desperately in need of you?
Does it mean I’m suppose to be extra forgiving because “I have to study … I have another exam” … Where is the limit?
I am NOT perfect. I am not as great as other girls can be. I’m dependent. You knew that from the start. Im a big time investment.
So please. Please make me be that princess again. Please make me want to happily stay with you forever. And if you don’t. I don’t want that to be the case. But I don’t know how many more chances like these I can rethink.
I dunno